Secret Santa rules: a template to copy, plus 8 fun twists

The rules, ready to copy

Fill in the parts in brackets and send this to the group before you draw any names. Writing the rules down once saves a week of “wait, what's the budget?” messages.

Secret Santa: the rules
1. Budget: [$20]. That's the amount, not a minimum or a maximum.
2. Gifts are opened on [day] at [place].
3. Say you're in by [date]. Names are drawn the next day, and nobody can join after that.
4. Keep it secret. Don't tell anyone who you drew, not even the person you drew.
5. Add a gift hint: three things you'd love and one thing you'd rather not get.
6. Can't make it on the day? Give your gift to [name] beforehand.
7. Questions go to [organiser], not the group chat.

Each rule is there because of a problem it prevents. The next section explains them, so you can change any that don't suit your group.

Why each rule is there

1. One budget, as a single number

“Around $20” turns into one person spending $10 and another $40, and the one who spent less feels bad all afternoon. One clear number fixes that. Pick an amount everyone in the group can afford, not the one the keenest person would like.

2. A day and a place

Without a fixed day, gifts trickle in over a fortnight and the fun of opening them together is lost. Put it in everyone's calendar.

3. A deadline for joining

A draw is one connected chain, so adding a person afterwards means drawing everyone again, and every match changes. Collect names first, then draw once.

4. Secrecy

The whole game depends on it. Matches leak in two ways: someone tells, or someone sees. Telling is a rule. Seeing is about how you draw: paper slips can be peeked at, and an organiser who draws for everyone knows every match. A draw where each person sees only their own match avoids both.

5. Gift hints

A hint turns a guess into a present the person wants. “Likes: dark chocolate, crime novels, anything green. Please no candles” takes ten seconds to write. If you need inspiration, here are 40 Secret Santa gift ideas under $20.

6 and 7. Absences and questions

Someone is always away on the day. Naming a person to hold their gift means nobody is left empty-handed. Sending questions to one organiser stops the group chat from turning into fifty messages about wrapping paper.

Keeping couples (and households) apart

Most groups have a rule that partners shouldn't draw each other, because they'd buy each other a present anyway. Some also keep housemates, siblings or a manager and their team apart. These rules are easy to add, but they shrink the number of possible draws faster than you'd expect.

Take four people in two couples. With no rules, there are 9 ways to draw so that nobody gets themselves. Keep both couples apart and only 4 are left. In two of them, the four form one big circle. In the other two, two pairs simply swap gifts with each other. A draw tool that aims for one big circle picks between those first two.

Two limits are worth knowing:

• A group of three with a couple in it can't be drawn. Both partners would have to buy for the third person, and the third person can only buy for one of them.
• No household can be more than half the group. Everyone in a household has to buy for someone outside it, so there have to be at least as many people outside as inside. In a group of six, a family of three works. A family of four doesn't.

If your rules make a draw impossible, a good tool should say which rule is the problem rather than just failing. The WhirlPicker Secret Santa names the keep-apart pair to drop. For more on drawing fairly, see how to run a fair Secret Santa.

Extra rules for an office Secret Santa

• Make it optional, and mean it. Ask privately or with a simple form, so nobody has to say no in front of the team.
• Keep the budget low. Colleagues earn different amounts. A low budget means everyone can join without thinking about it.
• Managers join as equals. Same budget, same draw, no bigger gifts.
• Plan for remote colleagues. Agree on a date to post gifts by, or allow a digital gift like an e-book or a gift card.
• Call it a gift exchange if that suits your team. Not everyone celebrates Christmas, and the game works just as well without the name.
• Set a line for jokes. A short “nothing you wouldn't open in front of your manager” saves an awkward moment.

8 twists to make it more fun

1. A theme. Something red, something made nearby, or something that fits inside a mug.
2. Want, need, wear or read. Each Santa chooses one of the four and writes which on the tag.
3. Secondhand only. Charity shops and markets make it a treasure hunt, and the budget goes further.
4. Homemade only. Biscuits, a playlist, a drawing. It costs more time than money.
5. A book swap. Everyone gives a book they loved, with a note on why.
6. Guess your Santa. Before anyone reveals themselves, everyone guesses who drew them. Keep score for a small prize.
7. A clue a day. In the last week, Santas leave one small anonymous clue each day.
8. The note rule. Every gift comes with a card saying why it was chosen. These are often the best part.

Drawing the names

With the rules agreed, the draw itself takes a minute. In the free WhirlPicker Secret Santa you add everyone, mark who to keep apart, and put the budget, the day and a note on the invitation. Each person then gets a private link that shows only their own match, their person's gift hint, and the budget, day and note, with a button to add the day to their calendar. If you're all in one room, you can pass a phone round the table instead.